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2月28日 Terrible Migraine & Etc....a YIIIAAA
Yesterday was terrible. I got up with a big head. Really bad headache developped after I came back from clinic. My flu deterierated and my face got rash--the doctor said it was because my immune system ran down due to weak physical condition plus stress from whatever sourses. I believe it is mainly from my work plus Mr. XXXX. I lost sleep and got a lot of nightmare.
So I slept at 3 pm after having my vegeterian lunch. Mother was online after their Changzhou trip but I could not concentrate on the talk with her anymore. Slept until 7pm when I woke up still feeling the bad headache. The nerve is contracting and the head was still big. So I got up to drink a packet of milk trying to go to bed again. But I could not with the basketball players active right downstairs. The smallest sound worsen my pain and I turned and tossed in the bed sleepless even the flesh was very weak. So I brought my pillow to the living room to lie down on the sofa to avoid the sound of basketballs. The leather soft chilled my bones and the sound was not mitigated even in a different location. So again I moved back to my room. Now I do not feel any fear in the dark since dark makes me feel much much better with this bad headache. At around 9 plus I was able to fall asleep again until 12 am, when I woke up by the alarm clock. Toaster prepared for me a piece of toast. I spread some peanut butter and took another packet of milk. Together they made my dinner/supper. When to bed at 1 after talking a bit to Gerry and friendsss. Now I was wide awake after these two long naps in the pm and evening. Staring at the two bunny head on the curtain, and my memory turned here and there, to the past few months. Slide show again and that worsened my regular sleep. The fan was turning with some small friction with the table cloth, the slightest sound that kept me awake. I was too weak to get up and adjust its position again. Until 3 plus, I was able to fall asleep after last check of my cellphone for timing. The light emitting from cellphone was terrible. Darkness was so good~~
Sam said at 12 am-- "you can now get up and be a security guard. " That was ture. I should have done it if any one calling me for a standby. ^^ Things are funny. Both were not sleep well and both were having some headache. Today both are not fully recovered. Hope this will not happen again at the same time. No one can save no one otherwise...^^
Anyway things from Frank's side are doing very well. Mother is doing well too in the same endeavour. I said to mom if I can not get my bonus will she support me? She said no problem, reach your hand to me and I will give to you. ^^ Mom is always the best person loving me best in the world. Maybe I am too pressurized with my work... for the bonus, for a better prospect in the near future. Tomorrow I am seeing the 'O'. Hope things will work out fine, with great ideas from my 'O'. ^^
AnywaY I am happy my government tender was awarded. The amount came to $22, 800.00. And both NUS and Gemalto gave me the deal after many months' follow up thought the amount is not as big: $5k and $6,250.00. I feel happy towards the end, I am able to close quite a lot of deal. Some are through personal rapport established with customer who gave me the extra opportunity and via my persistant follow-up efforts and patience with their changes.
For AT&T, was able to close the training deal with them after sitting down with them together with my training department head Jony. Our revenue will be 8K for 5 day course. Did not realize it is so good money. Deducting the cost of the inhouse instructor(normal salary) the profit can be at least 6k. Jony just brought a piece of cheese cake to me.^^ I am happy enough. There is no chance I can get a percentage from this 6k....pity. Now I understood why people withdraw after established enough financial and personal network resources to start their own business. Then the money all go my home. hahah.... It takes the courage and initiative.
Anyway, hope things will work out well. Father is visiting me, which is a high light to me. Now I recall why I could not sleep. Because I was thinking where and how to bring him around...I really MISS YOU! for my dear hardworking of-few-words father~~
Hope my face will be restored to its former glow and suppleness soon~~~ mother said I will be fine. I promise I will keep nice skin and figure ~~A promise to myself and the people who appreciate me!!
Cheers, JoJO taking a slot of time for some relaxation (15 mins for this blog^^) Running out to attend Nortel event. Partner Appreciation. Going there to show face.~~ A bit. NOT for handsome guys!!  2月21日 摄影大师-抢走你的棒棒糖
2月20日 Long Time No Blog :)Now sitting down on the floor with two smile-face patterned cushion Lina left in the house underneath my butt. Like I can not walk bare-footed on the ceramic paved floor, I am not able to stand the chill spread into my spine when I sit direct my butt on it no matter how much fat I have stored there. :) Coughing coughing...the throat has been bad since the second day of Sam's visit. My immune system ran down after all those fatigue accumulated during the move, the busy year end work, and the emotional turmoil. The emotional termoil is the part I have never shared too much with you guys. I will do a bit though without being able to do with a full disclosure. I only shared once with mom when the other day I was in the KG Clinic talking with her on the phone.Both mom and I cried, myself ignoing the embarrassment of crying in the public. Mother knows me well and she shed tears for her daughter's disturbed soft heart...
Actually I lost sleep last night. Could not fall asleep with a mixed feelings in my heart and slide show of people on my mind. It is time I combed my thought and bring about some peace to the spiritial chaos.
Really long long time no blog. Xinlin always said she enjoys reading my writing and she has hidden there somewhere admiring my blogs for quite a while. I suddenly feel my face blushing for having been so unproductive in the past month. All I post here is something I passed by-some company event notification email from HR, some lyrics of the songs I love, or some emails forwarded by friends. Frankly I enjoy blogging here since it is a way of getting my emotions out. Not able to write things down here was not because of laziness but because of the disability to get myself out of a mess.
The reason was I experienced some hard time in life. I simply did not feel a good mood or rather, a peaceful mind to sit down and let my pen 'blossom'. In the past month, I shed tears of the amount more than I had in the past 2 over years in Singapore, even considering that time when I was alone facing the hard time with myself in May, 2005. At that time, I had mom visit me after the incident and time with mom was such a soothing process what I felt emotionally cushioned. Nightmare went on but I had mom to cuddle after turned and tossed.
This time, the bolt came sudden. Totally unprepared and surprised, I was lost but I knew I have the wisdom to work it out since S. offers an hand to pull me off the odyssey. I had always been deceiving myself and anesthetize my sanity in the past 3 months. My personal emotional life went to the bottom of valley and I faced pressure from quite a lot of people. During my trip back to Shanghai, mother expressed great concern on my personal path, my choice of partner, etc. I always replied to her with a light note- Do not worry Mom, I know what I am up to. I will not harm myself and I will want the best for myself. Everyone does. But turning my head, I wanted to cry. I did in the bathroom, when I submerge myself in the water. I could still feel the difference in the temperature of my tears and the bathing water. I simply felt despair in the matter. I knew I had somehow made some decision which would lead me on a path full of bumpy rides, knowing myself fairly well. I made a promise to myself long time ago yet sometimes emotions go beyond reason or rationality. I can not tell from love and feeling of being loved. Was I drunk being showered with love? I always asked myself what is that? I never belong to the proactive type who would be the ice breaker. But I made an exception for which I could not believe myself. The past events were crystal clear in the slideshow last night before I finally closed my eyes. I somehow felt the bitterness in the throat and wanted to cry. But life goes on... I should no longer put my sanity into sleep (or half-sleep status-otherwise I woud not have always been struggling along the way and lost sleep at night after all these heart warming moments.). I should be responsible for my own happiness in the long run and more importantly my parents, and Sam who will spend the rest of the life with me with our children. No concerns, no fears, no darkness, no struggling alone- everything can be talked through and shared. It is a choice. Yet I am not unfeeling, constantly feeling the pain of powerlessness to turn the fate. And somehow I feel it is not a choice anymore. There is not a choice in front of my eyes. I shall keep my promise to S. to ensure a bright future for all parties... That is a promise.
CNY came again. The past year of dog was eventful. That proved the saying that the same animal year of your birthyear would be bumpy? Whatever it is, my best wish goes to my dearest person- my brother. I wish him good health in the year of piggy. And I wish my parents good health and good spirit with all those perpetual hardship. What I can do as a daughter is try my best to mitigate their burden psychologically. So I will go back to you papa and mama. When the parents are around, the most filial thing for the children to do is to be there for them. No need for big financial support, no need for fancy gifts for mom, patience and time is the best way we can repay the love our parents has been rendering to us, until the day they leave us... something is inevitable in life so we should cherish before it is too late. Tears after they are gone are meanless. So action! I would like to invite papa to come to Sinagpore to realize my dream of showing him around the place I have been staying in and loved.
New year holiday has been quite peaceful and fun. Susannna spent considerable time with me here watching TV and cooking a bit. We two were kinda miserable since only KFC and 7-Eleven were accessible for food. Out of the limited stock, we cooked noodle with mushroom and fried eggs. For side dish, we defrozened the chicken nuggets and fried a dozen. Sigh~~ If I were in Shanghai, countless dishes will be prepared by father who is always smiling to see me enjoying food on the table. Now two poor guys can only enjoy mushroom noodle. :) But talking with Suzhen is fun. He has a wide base of knowledge and is willing to share. His experience in Australia is also a source of endless stories which virtually lead me throughout the continent zooming in on the Chinese' life there.
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Oh Goodness I am out now~~!! Happy!! Jumped up like a kid.JOJO
2月14日 2007 D&DDear All
The ECS Annual Dinner and Dance will be held on Friday, 9 March 2007. The details are as follows: Day/Date: Friday, 9 March 2007 Registration & Pre-Dinner Drinks: 6.30pm - 7.00pm. Dinner will commence with an opening address by Mr Tay. All guests are requested to be seated by 6.50 pm. The theme for the event is "Eyes on Me". Come dressed in your finest. There will be two 'best dressed' prizes for a male and female guest. We promise you an evening of fun and games. There will be lots of attractive prizes & LuckyDraws to be won! Please confirm your attendance (by 23 Jan 2007) on the spreadsheet at the 7th Floor Notice Board. ** The usual penalty for no-shows will be $188/= per head. See you there! The D&D Organising Commitee Happy Val. DayHappy Valentine's Day.
This year it is really a different feeling. A mixture. A refreshed kind of emotion. Some small fears, and a lot of good anticipations. We are the same people with some different perspectives... in 2007. 2月12日 Chinese New Year 5 Days In a Row ~~ Happy!!!!Dear Al l Please note that all staff will leave the office premises at 12.00 noon on friday 16 February 2007. All entrances to the offices will be locked. The company will reopen on wednesday 21 February at 12.00 noon. Staff should not/will not be able to enter the office premises during the Lunar New Year Holidays. The keys of the office premises during this holiday period are held by CSL (MIS) and JT (ADMIN). The Management wishes all staff Peace and Prosperity in the Lunar New Year regards 2月10日 刘德华 《常言道》常言道斗争紧握了拳头
拳头若放开可拥抱四周 静默放心里笑容随左右 前途在你手你找到没有 常言道强闯少不免逆流 人柔弱似水却可以载舟 命运会刻意锻炼你身手 但勤劳是你的最佳老朋友 *得失只一念风景不转心境转 烦恼来自偏执一切也依恋 风吹草动命途乱了我不乱 交出了平常心再随缘* lalala～～～ 万物有天意我们有双手 来而后去边看一看便够 lalala～～～ 自在放心里往事留背后 无为是最高你听过没有 自在放心里往事留背后 浮云后曙光看一看便够 2月8日 The End Of 5 Month Internship By J.G.-VERY FUN by My InternDear All, A 5 month internship with ECS comes to an end and I would like to give the warmest thanks to all those who have supported me. I've learnt a lot of new things from my fellow engineers and I am grateful for that. I will also cherish all good memories which I had in ECS and throw away bad ones. Special thanks to the following people:- To Michael Thanks for treating me with care and concern. I would never forget the things you have done for me thus far. Fetching me back home after over time and giving me ideas on my school work and etc. To Ali (HP) & Ali (Sun) a.k.a Ali X 2 Thanks for giving me the laughs whenever I was feeling the blues. Working would not have been fun if it wasn't for the both of you. Your jokes and smiles will never be forgotten. Thanks for all the On-site tips you've thought me. To S., Thanks for teaching me the insights of office politics. You've been a nice lunch buddy and yes I will of cause remember you for the amount of craps you have given me. Not forgetting Leonard, Derrence, Suzhen, Steve, Joanne, Ruth, Terence. Thanks for letting me work with you. Regards Jay Guna ECS Computers Pte Ltd The Song I Heard on Singapore River Over 1 Year AgoWe get it on most every night When that moon is big and bright Its a supernatural delight Everybodys dancing in the moonlight We get Everybody here is out of sight They dont bark and they dont bite They keep things loose they keep it tight Everybodys dancing in the moonlight Dancing in the moonlight Everybodys feeling warm and bright Its such a fine and natural sight Everybodys dancing in the moonlight We like our fun and we never fight You cant dance and stay uptight Its a supernatural delight Everybody was dancing in the moonlight Dancing in the moonlight Everybodys feeling warm and bright Its such a fine and natural sight Everybodys dancing in the moonlight We get in on most every night And when that moon is big and bright Its a supernatural delight Everybodys dancing in the moonlight Dancing in the moonlight Everybodys feeling warm and bright Its such a fine and natural sight Everybodys dancing in the moonlight 2月1日 Bowling Game on FridayDear All,
A gentle reminder that the bowling session is tomorrow, 2 February 2007. Buffet dinner (at the bowling centre) will be served from 7 - 8 pm, and the games will commence at 8 pm. Each person will be playing 3 games. See you at Kim Seng Starbowl! Best Regards, ----- Dear All, |
(WITH SUZANNNNA~~)
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